cravings

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2004-08-05T23:40:00.000-07:00

That may be the colour of my life at the moment, although it may be in the darkest shade. I'm surprised at how things have turned out in the end... "To survive is to be strong." I believe that- in fact, I always did, but I guess it wasn't enough to help me stand up again after the storm threatened to throw me off shore.

I wonder sometimes, if my decisions in life are really for the better. Why then am I feeling as if I'm missing out on something very important in my life just as I hand in my resignation letter? Maybe I should have thought longer, fought harder... but suddenly I remember how my heart was torn into pieces, my dreams shattered, and my dignity taken away from me, rudely. I remember how it was so difficult to fight back and to stand up for what I believed in.

But the final curtain has been drawn. I have written my last chapter of my past two years. It may not have been all agony and pain , but the ride was certainly a bumpy one... One that I would not want to remember ever again but am glad I went through anyway.

I've made a new resolution, definitely... as I look back at how things were and how things are now, I realise that life is full of hypocrites and people should never ever become hypocrites. Always emphatise with the person who will truly suffer because of what you have done or said or have poisoned others into believing.

And please, don't lie.

Oil

2004-07-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

No, this has nothing to do with being or even feeling fat. In fact, I'm totally oblivious to my weight or how much of it I have actually gained since my brother's wedding in February.
Oil because that was what I gave my loveliest on our 29th-month anniversary of being together - an "erotic" oil massage from head to toe. It's been a thing for us to do something special with or for each other every 15th of the month. This time, I asked him to come to England with me while I pursue my masters for a year. Selfish me, what-oh-what is he going to do there? Would anyone actually sacrifice MONEY and a job just to make sure that the relationship is being fed with cuddles and kisses everyday?

I want to get married! Not a craving to be just anyone's wife, but his. But I'll leave that for tomorrow.

Much ado

2004-07-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

Finally, a blog to call my own. We'll skip all the weird intro stuff... who needs it anyway?
Am reading a book on the "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Ah, just what I need... a 334-page book which promises to to change my life within 40 days by asking myself questions like "What on earth am I here for?" and "Are my relationships first priority?". You see, it's my first time reading such spiritually-related, God-centered books, so it's taking me a while to get used to it. Plus, I have to control my urge to have a sneak-peek at the next chapter (readers have been advised to read one chapter a day, only). The weirdest thing is that immediately after getting through a chapter, I start yelling at my loveliest over some dumb trivial matter. Hmmph. Last night, I learnt to accept death as our birthday into eternity.

I've got two sweet terriers as pets, both adopted from SPCA last September. I am however saddened by the fact that one of them had been injured and has aggravated the wound by scratching it uncontrollably, almost tearing off the layer of skin. It looks utterly gross and I have actually resorted to taping it up just so she doesn't continue to paw at it. Yet with the big hole just below her ears, she is able to bring so much joy to the world.